Peace be upon you. Hi guys. A very beautiful Friday isn't it? Friday is always enjoyable for me since it's the start of my weekend. Not for most of you though. Too bad. Haha. Anyway, enjoy everyday and live it to the fullest since none of it will rewind for you if you missed something. Kalau game, bolehlah replay save data bila terlepas apa-apa event. Real life... Takde can. XD A friend asked me to write a 'jiwang' post. I said I can't and maybe, this is a good enough replacement? Haha. I hope so. So why do I choose to write about this?
Let's see... Rasanya idea ni mula-mula datang masa cuti seminggu yang lepas. My mom was driving and I sat quietly beside her when she suddenly said, "Fulan si kawan abang tu dah gatal nak kawen abang tau? Pening kepala mak dia. Macam mana nak bagitahu bagi habis belajar dulu." I did my eyyy??? face and wanted to reply, "Mak, dia pun dah tua. Kasi jelah dia kawen. Perempuan umur 25 nak kahwin abang rasa, abang rasalah, dah betul dan sesuai sangatlah tu." Akan tetapi, disebabkan hamba ini segan sikit nak sembang pasal kahwin ni dengan mrs. mommy, hamba cuma reply, "Oh, dengan boifren dia la tu." Huhuhu. Oh by the way, I must tell you that I'm thinking here using a Muslim's point of view. I know many of my non-muslim friends who are quite against early marriage, even some Muslims do. Well, for them 25 is early, not for me. Haha. However I must tell you this, for Muslims, couple-relationship is not something to be taken lightly. Simply said to make non-muslim understand, it's something not allowed in many situations. I repeat, many situations but not all. For you, a man and a woman hanging out together, eating together etcetera-ing together is something normal but, in Islam, it's not allowed except if a family member is also there and he or she must be old enough to think what's good and bad. So, to avoid this, Islam encourages marriage. n_n
The situation at this moment, I see my friends, younger, older, peers, many of them are thinking of getting married and quite a number of them have this so called 'calon terbaik untuk aku'. Haha. It's very funny because this is the exact 'noun' I've been hearing since I was 14. Kapel kapel dengan 'calon terbaik untuk aku' tu, last-last break jugak. LOL. *jahat sungguh gelakkan kawan* Sorry. XD Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is, if you're still young, just don't pay so much attention on this kind of things. Bukan apa. Benda diluar kawalan orang kata. When you grow older, you'll see more of that 'calon terbaik untuk aku' and with so many choices, how can you say they're the best? n_n Senang sangat kita melayan perasaan yang dok bertukar-tukar. Sekejap dia tu, sekejap dia ni. LOL. Mainan perasaan semua tu. Just stay single and wait for the right time. How to know it's the right time? I think I kind of know how, so keep reading. XD *LOL-ing for the same mistakes I made. muehehe*
You see, the younger people nowadays tend to think early marriage is a good thing and in contrast to that, the older generations think early marriage is mostly a disaster. Bukan semualah, tapi ini yang Jaw nampak. The younger ones, in a way, I can say that they're religiously conscious but in another way, they're lacking in experience. I'm not saying the older generations are not religious though. They're just more experienced with life that they include in their frame of thinking not only religious values but also their life experiences. Kita yang muda ni fikir mudah je. Kena kahwin cepat, tak baik kapel lama-lama. Kena kahwin cepat, berdosa kapel ni. Kena kahwin cepat, aku nak anak 3 sebelum umur 30. Haha. Express baq hang. Yang berumur ni diorang tak macam tu, diorang fikir jauh sikit. Nak kahwin muda, hidup sendiri pun tak stabil lagi. Nak kahwin muda, duduk pun rumah parents lagi. Nak kahwin muda, asyik tengok televisyen lagi. Lagi teruk, layan kartun lagi. *akulah tu* Haha. Macam manalah ibu bapa korang ada rasa nak bagi korang kahwin kalau dah macam tu perangainya. XD If you do want to get married early, show them you're responsible, reliable and it's way better if you have some sort of income. Kalau tak ada, bukan tak boleh, tapi kena buat perancangan kewangan dan tunjuk dekat keluarga. Diorang masa tu gerenti bangga, "Pfft. Anak aku dah matang." Haha. I've heard some say, "Sebelum kahwin, yang lelaki kena pastikan ada 3 kunci yakni kunci kereta, kunci pejabat, dan kunci rumah." Being a man sucks la like this. Suck it up brothers. We can do this. Haha.
Baru-baru ni Jaw ada terbaca satu quote. It says 'When nikah(marriage) becomes expensive, zina(fornication) becomes cheap, so keep weddings as SIMPLE and AFFORDABLE as possible.' I agree with it 100%. Buat orang Islam, cuba fikir mengenai hadis-hadis ni:
"Carilah untuk dijadikan mas kahwin walaupun sebentuk cincin yang diperbuat daripada besi."(Riwayat Bukhari )
"Sesungguhnya wanita-wanita yang paling diberkati dan menjadi keutamaan adalah yang paling rendah mas kahwinnya." ( Riwayat Ibn Hibban)Both of this hadiths showed us one thing. That is cheap mahar is not a problem and in fact, it's a good thing. I'm not saying you cannot ask for fifty thousand of dowry, and I'm not saying that's expensive either. Dah kalau kau kahwin dengan jutawan, itu kira murahlah bagi dia. Mana aci mintak murah-murah ngan dia. Kenalah mahal sikit. Haha. Gurau je. It's up to you to ask for how much as long as that guy can afford it without so much trouble, insyaAllah, that will be okay. Tapi kalau sampai nak bagi mas kahwin pun kena berhutang, abang-abangku, tak payahlah. Cari lain je. Muahaha.
Finally, how to know it's the right time. I have a simple view in this matter. Once you have the candidate, get to know them better. Bukan mesti dengan berkapel. Cuba tanya kawan dia, tanya kawan kita yang kenal dia, tanya cikgu-cikgu dia, tanyalah siapa-siapa yang patut. Kalau betul yakin, part one settle. Part two, check yourselves. Are you ready to become a husband or wife? Are you ready to share everything with your spouse? House, money, cars, foods, bed, shampoo and maybe, Gundam*ehh tersesat* etc. Are you ready to become a father or mother? Are you ready to forgive and forget the mistakes of each other? Are you ready to support a family in the making? Money is the least in the list. Responsibility, trust, hard work etc comes first. There are many more but to put it simply in a single sentence, are you ready for something new, bad and good? If your answer is yes for all the questions, then I must say, the right time has come. *cakap macam dah kahwin ooo. haha*
Moh ler kiter tamatkan post ni. The points I want you to get from this are:
1. Islam encourages marriage.
2. 'Calon terbaik untuk aku' mungkin bukan calon terbaik untuk anda. Trust me. Haha.
3. Jangan marah mak dan ayah anda kalau mereka larang anda berkahwin awal. Mereka hanya risaukan masa depan anda. Masih nak kahwin awal? Buktikan kepada mereka segala positif -ble anda. Able, reliable, dependable, responsible dan segala -ble-ble yang ada.
4. Bagi lelaki, pastikan anda ada 3 kunci sebelum berkahwin iaitu kunci kereta, pejabat dan rumah. Paling lekeh pun bang, kunci pejabat kenalah ada. n_n
5. Bagi wanita, mas kahwin murah-murah pun cukuplah. Nak jadi wanita yang diberkati tak? *senyum nakal. XD*
6. Bagi lelaki lagi, kalau dah mas kahwin perempuan tu mahal sangat, move on bro. Nampak gaya macam tak nak kahwin dengan kau je. *unless she tries to help you in any way to ease the burden, just move on*
7. If you're ready for the world, you're ready for marriage. n_n
~Jaw~
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