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Hadith of the Update

Narrated by 'Abdullah bin 'Amr,

A person asked Allah's Apostle. "What (sort of) deeds in or (what qualities of) Islam are good?" He replied, "To feed (the poor) and greet those whom you know and those whom you don't know."

[Bukhari. Volume 1, Book 2, Number 27]

Quote of the Update

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

-Mark Twain

Monday, January 23, 2012

Kahwin???


Hey guys. Tadaima. (my home=my blog) XD   Waa. It's been a while. I was always wandering about this blog yet I got no chance to update it. Sumimasen. Now, I'm updating about marriage as Miss Nu asked me quite some time ago. Sorry Miss Nu. Took a while to find the info. Now, I think I got enough information to write and to share it with you readers.Though, as a muslim, I only get to write about muslim's definition and criteria of marriage. Therefore to non-muslim readers, feel free to read it or you can also just neglect it. Enjoy. n_n
Firstly, let me share with you HAMKA's definition of marriage.
"Perkahwinan adalah satu jalinan hubungan serta komitmen antara dua pasangan iaitu lelaki dan perempuan yang mempunyai seribu satu perbezaan."
Oi? Wait. So what about the marriage between gays or lesbians (maybe it doesn't happen in Malaysia but you must know that it does happen abroad)? As HAMKA said "...dua pasangan iaitu LELAKI dan PEREMPUAN...". So, there's no such things as gays or lesbians marriage in Islam. Be sure to understand that friends. The most important thing in marriage is, the ultimate goal is for Allah so that the marriage will be counted as an ibadah. Yes. Ibadah. Don't just think that ibadah means only prayers and other thing which involves spiritual thingies. Anything related the systems of human life should also be considered as ibadah all right? n_n
Why marry? According to research done by Steinhauer, married people are reported to be more healthy and blithe compared to the person who are not yet married. Besides, marriage can also prevent spreading of sexual diseases like syphilis and AIDS. However, what matters the most is, you are following the sunah. Sunah Allah dan juga rasul-Nya.

"Dan tiap-tiap jenis kami ciptakan berpasangan, supaya kamu mengingati(kekuasaan kami dan ketauhidan kami."  Az-Zariyat ; 49 
"Sesiapa yang tidak berkahwin bukanlah daripada golonganku."  Riwayat at-Thabrani
Therefore, for a muslim, marriage is an important thing in fact one of the most important thing for our iman. Namun, amatlah pelik kerana sekarang ni, kalau ditanya mengenai perkahwinan kepada pelajar-pelajar yang berumur dari 18-20++, kebanyakkannya akan cakap, "Awal lagi kot fikir pasal kawin. Kau ni gedik sangat apehal?" dan bla bla bla. But, the weirdest thing is, they are the one who are very eager in couple-ling. Pelik. Sangat pelik. Rather than having a husband or wife, halal man/woman to touch, they would rather choose the hard and sinful way. According to ar-Ruum 21,
"Dan antara tandanya(Allah) adalah dia(Allah) menciptakan untuk kamu isteri-isteri daripada jenis kamu sendiri supaya kamu cenderung(tenteram) kepadanya dan dijadikannya(Allah) antara kamu perasaan kasih dan sayang. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu(terdapat) tanda-tanda bagi kaum yang berfikir."
it definitely says "...isteri-isteri..." Notice that? So, therefore it should be clearly stated that there are no relationship like couple in Islam before marriage. All right? Adalah amat mustahil bagi pasangan-pasangan yang sedang hangat bercinta ini untuk mengatakan "Kami kuat agama, Kami mampu jaga diri, dll." Always remember that when the two of you meet, there will be always be the third. The syaitan. Besides, you must have heard of the argument usually used by many people who said couple is haram which talks about "jangan menghampiri zina..." Heard of it? Yeah. Surah al-Israk ayat 32. Go check it when you're free. Now, I want to strengthen it with a hadith. Sebabnya, ramai yang cakap, "Kami cuma couple, Kami couple Islamic way, Kamimmimimiimi...daaa" Therefore, they meant to say that they're not getting near zina. Think again people. Rasulullah once said,
"Kedua-dua belah tangan juga berzina dan zinanya adalah menyentuh. Kedua-dua kaki juga berzina dan zinanya adalah menuju ke tempat pertemuan. Mulut juga berzina dan zinanya adalah ciuman." 
Jadi, fikir-fikirkanlah ok. Malas komen panjang-panjang. Now, let's return to marriage. Many people usually want to avoid marriage because they say that they want to study, focusing in their studies and study study study. Semuanya belajar, belajar, dan belajar.  Terdapat pepatah Arab yang mengatakan "Seandainya engkau menghabiskan seluruh usiamu bagi mencari ilmu, engkau pasti tidak akan mendapatkannya kecuali hanya sebahagiannya." It is important to study, but marriage is also important and for me, it is a little more important than study. And one more thing, perhaps many of the students think that they are too busy too get married. Come on guys. Don't be pathetic. What? Do you think when you work then you'll have more free time? Yeah. Dream on. However, to all those thinking about marriage. Please be noted that, by getting married, the reality is not to live happily ever after but a winding road full with thorns and hardships. Therefore, you need to be prepared to face the oncoming challenges as a husband or wife, and then as a father or mother. Kahwin bukan sekadar nak menghalalkan yang haram je ok. If you like you're husband because he's handsome, do you expect him to be handsome in 10-20 more years? If you got married to your wife because she smiles beautifully, do you expect her to smile like that in another 10-20 years? And one more thing, please please and please forget about, 'Dia pasangan saya jadi dia kena tahu apa saya suka, apa saya benci, apa saya nak, apa saya daa daa daa.' Your partner is also a human, he/she will definitely forget about what you like or hate sometimes and definitely they do not know what are you thinking about. Be realistic. Terima si dia seadanya, hargai dirinya, maafkan kesalahannya, ambil berat mengenai dia, dan bergurau dengan si dia. Abu Ya'lla melaporkan daripada Aisyah dan dia pernah berkata, "Aku mendatangi Rasulullah sambil membawa tepung yang sudah aku masak. Aku berkata kepada Saudah, sedang Rasulullah berada di antaraku dan Saudah, 'Makanlah'. Namun Saudah tidak mahu. Maka aku berkata lagi, 'Kamu makan atau haruskah kusapukan pada wajahmu?' Saudah tetap tidak mahu makan. Kuletakkan tanganku di tepung lalu kusapukan pada wajah Saudah. Rasulullah tertawa melihat tingkah laku kami. Beliau meletakkan tangannya di tepung seraya berkata kepada Saudah 'Ayuh sapukan pada wajah Aisyah." katanya sambil ketawa kepada Saudah.
This is how it should be. A married couple should be romantic towards each other. Apalah salahnya kalau keluar pergi jalan-jalan, shopping-shopping nak pegang-pegang tangan. Nothing to be ashamed of. Ni tidak, yang kahwin malu nak pegang tangan, yang tak berkahwin tanpa segan silu berpeluk-pelukan. Aigoo. How upside down is the world today. Huh. Well, I don't feel like writing much longer. So, to Miss Nu and other readers, I hope you enjoyed reading my post this time. Thank you for reading. Chiao.


~Lonymous~

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