Kahwin???

Hey guys. Tadaima. (my home=my blog) XD   Waa. It's been a while. I was always wandering about this blog yet I got no chance to update it. Sumimasen. Now, I'm updating about marriage as Miss Nu asked me quite some time ago. Sorry Miss Nu. Took a while to find the info. Now, I think I got enough information to write and to share it with you readers.Though, as a muslim, I only get to write about muslim's definition and criteria of marriage. Therefore to non-muslim readers, feel free to read it or you can also just neglect it. Enjoy. n_n
Firstly, let me share with you HAMKA's definition of marriage.

"Perkahwinan adalah satu jalinan hubungan serta komitmen antara dua pasangan iaitu lelaki dan perempuan yang mempunyai seribu satu perbezaan."

Oi? Wait. So what about the marriage between gays or lesbians (maybe it doesn't happen in Malaysia but you must know that it does happen abroad)? As HAMKA said "...dua pasangan iaitu LELAKI dan PEREMPUAN...". So, there's no such things as gays or lesbians marriage in Islam. Be sure to understand that friends. The most important thing in marriage is, the ultimate goal is for Allah so that the marriage will be counted as an ibadah. Yes. Ibadah. Don't just think that ibadah means only prayers and other thing which involves spiritual thingies. Anything related the systems of human life should also be considered as ibadah all right? n_n
Why marry? According to research done by Steinhauer, married people are reported to be more healthy and blithe compared to the person who are not yet married. Besides, marriage can also prevent spreading of sexual diseases like syphilis and AIDS. However, what matters the most is, you are following the sunah. Sunah Allah dan juga rasul-Nya.

"Dan tiap-tiap jenis kami ciptakan berpasangan, supaya kamu mengingati(kekuasaan kami dan ketauhidan kami."  Az-Zariyat ; 49 

"Sesiapa yang tidak berkahwin bukanlah daripada golonganku."  Riwayat at-Thabrani

Therefore, for a muslim, marriage is an important thing in fact one of the most important thing for our iman. Namun, amatlah pelik kerana sekarang ni, kalau ditanya mengenai perkahwinan kepada pelajar-pelajar yang berumur dari 18-20++, kebanyakkannya akan cakap, "Awal lagi kot fikir pasal kawin. Kau ni gedik sangat apehal?" dan bla bla bla. But, the weirdest thing is, they are the one who are very eager in couple-ling. Pelik. Sangat pelik. Rather than having a husband or wife, halal man/woman to touch, they would rather choose the hard and sinful way. According to ar-Ruum 21,

"Dan antara tandanya(Allah) adalah dia(Allah) menciptakan untuk kamu isteri-isteri daripada jenis kamu sendiri supaya kamu cenderung(tenteram) kepadanya dan dijadikannya(Allah) antara kamu perasaan kasih dan sayang. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu(terdapat) tanda-tanda bagi kaum yang berfikir."

it definitely says "...isteri-isteri..." Notice that? So, therefore it should be clearly stated that there are no relationship like couple in Islam before marriage. All right? Adalah amat mustahil bagi pasangan-pasangan yang sedang hangat bercinta ini untuk mengatakan "Kami kuat agama, Kami mampu jaga diri, dll." Always remember that when the two of you meet, there will be always be the third. The syaitan. Besides, you must have heard of the argument usually used by many people who said couple is haram which talks about "jangan menghampiri zina..." Heard of it? Yeah. Surah al-Israk ayat 32. Go check it when you're free. Now, I want to strengthen it with a hadith. Sebabnya, ramai yang cakap, "Kami cuma couple, Kami couple Islamic way, Kamimmimimiimi...daaa" Therefore, they meant to say that they're not getting near zina. Think again people. Rasulullah once said,

"Kedua-dua belah tangan juga berzina dan zinanya adalah menyentuh. Kedua-dua kaki juga berzina dan zinanya adalah menuju ke tempat pertemuan. Mulut juga berzina dan zinanya adalah ciuman." 

Jadi, fikir-fikirkanlah ok. Malas komen panjang-panjang. Now, let's return to marriage. Many people usually want to avoid marriage because they say that they want to study, focusing in their studies and study study study. Semuanya belajar, belajar, dan belajar.  Terdapat pepatah Arab yang mengatakan "Seandainya engkau menghabiskan seluruh usiamu bagi mencari ilmu, engkau pasti tidak akan mendapatkannya kecuali hanya sebahagiannya." It is important to study, but marriage is also important and for me, it is a little more important than study. And one more thing, perhaps many of the students think that they are too busy too get married. Come on guys. Don't be pathetic. What? Do you think when you work then you'll have more free time? Yeah. Dream on. However, to all those thinking about marriage. Please be noted that, by getting married, the reality is not to live happily ever after but a winding road full with thorns and hardships. Therefore, you need to be prepared to face the oncoming challenges as a husband or wife, and then as a father or mother. Kahwin bukan sekadar nak menghalalkan yang haram je ok. If you like you're husband because he's handsome, do you expect him to be handsome in 10-20 more years? If you got married to your wife because she smiles beautifully, do you expect her to smile like that in another 10-20 years? And one more thing, please please and please forget about, 'Dia pasangan saya jadi dia kena tahu apa saya suka, apa saya benci, apa saya nak, apa saya daa daa daa.' Your partner is also a human, he/she will definitely forget about what you like or hate sometimes and definitely they do not know what are you thinking about. Be realistic. Terima si dia seadanya, hargai dirinya, maafkan kesalahannya, ambil berat mengenai dia, dan bergurau dengan si dia. Abu Ya'lla melaporkan daripada Aisyah dan dia pernah berkata, "Aku mendatangi Rasulullah sambil membawa tepung yang sudah aku masak. Aku berkata kepada Saudah, sedang Rasulullah berada di antaraku dan Saudah, 'Makanlah'. Namun Saudah tidak mahu. Maka aku berkata lagi, 'Kamu makan atau haruskah kusapukan pada wajahmu?' Saudah tetap tidak mahu makan. Kuletakkan tanganku di tepung lalu kusapukan pada wajah Saudah. Rasulullah tertawa melihat tingkah laku kami. Beliau meletakkan tangannya di tepung seraya berkata kepada Saudah 'Ayuh sapukan pada wajah Aisyah." katanya sambil ketawa kepada Saudah.
This is how it should be. A married couple should be romantic towards each other. Apalah salahnya kalau keluar pergi jalan-jalan, shopping-shopping nak pegang-pegang tangan. Nothing to be ashamed of. Ni tidak, yang kahwin malu nak pegang tangan, yang tak berkahwin tanpa segan silu berpeluk-pelukan. Aigoo. How upside down is the world today. Huh. Well, I don't feel like writing much longer. So, to Miss Nu and other readers, I hope you enjoyed reading my post this time. Thank you for reading. Chiao.


~Lonymous~

Treat Your Siblings Like Siblings

Hey guys. Morning morning and morning. *Inhaling fresh air* Huh. What have you done this morning guys? You went for a jog? Walaweh. Nice. Cooking? *Bak sikit..XD* Me? I did.... Err.. Almost nothing. Reading, facebooking,,,, and some other boring stuffs. Now, time to continue to the topic. Why did I feel like writing about this? Because yesterday, I went to Pesta Pulau Pinang, *pakat mai sini, Pulau Pinang menanti* and I met with my mother's friend who was/is taking care of the parking lot. Pak cik apa tah nama dia but it doesn't matter. He's a nice guy. Then, my mom told me that his sister always humiliate him. Not the normal joking type of humiliation but very mean type of humiliation. Example,*hanya contoh rekaan* "Kau ni bodoh,pemalas,miskin,kotor,jijik dll* What do you think guys? Is that how a sister who has quite high income treat her little brother? According to my mom, that pakcik can't even read. Sepatutnya, adik tu bukan dihina, tapi diberi peluang untuk belajar. You know how to read, so what's wrong with teaching him how to read? No big deal. Rezeki Tuhan bagi, jangan kedekut sangat. Dengan adik-beradik sendiri je pun. Now is his time, maybe next is your's. Only God knows. I heard that the sister's children are not that smart compared to the brother's. See, maybe he's not clever but his childrens are. Tuhan Maha Adil. Whatever you do, whatever you get are a gift by Him. So, don't be over-proud of yourselves. Tak kemana blogwalker oi. For example, you may have a BMW car right now(itupun second hand..ceit) and when you are 'takabbur'(too proud like saying, "I'm rich. No one can take it away from me. Not even God can.), just you wait. Orang Melayu kata, dua kali Jumaat la tu. Dup dup dup. Your BMW are seized by the bank. Maybe it's not because of you but your children. Diorang hisap dadah ke apa, or berhutang ngan Along ke apa, nak bayar hutang punya pasal, korang pulak yang kena korban. That's what happens when you're 'takabbur'. Ok. Aku tau. This is just a typical drama scene. Tengok tv melambak-lambak scene macam ni. But, it can happen. So, don't be 'takabbur'. Don't be proud with what you have or what you get. You may think something is good for you but it's actually bad and you may think something is bad for you but it's actually good. That's just how life works. Maybe you don't get the intelligence of your brother or sister now but in the future maybe you get the wealth that your brother and sister can only dream of. *Ok. Bad example but you get my point. Right?* My point here is, treat your siblings nicely even if they are not that lucky in life and don't be 'takabbur'. Lainlah kalau adik-beradik kita tu kerja malas, tahu-tahu mintak duit je, takpe jugak. Bolehlah nak dimarahnya. But if they're not like that, then don't treat them badly okay. That's all for now I guess. *Tiada idea nak tulis panjang-panjang*

~Lonymous~

Be Proud of Yourself

Hey guys. *Penat* Just came back from BJ Kompleks. Shopping-shopping sikit hari ni. Today, I found a new blog written by a 14 years old student(becoming 15 really soon). I am writing about this because I am really impressed by her advice. I quote,

"yes, you. stop being unhappy with yourself. you are perfect in your imperfections. stop wishing you look like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. stop hating your body, your face, your personality and your quirks. love them. without those things you wouldn't be you. and why would you want to be like anyone else? be confident with who you are. smile. it'll draw people in. if anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself then you stick your middle finger in the air and say screw it. dont depend your happiness on others anymore. love your flaws. love your imperfections . they make you you . and you are pretty amazing."

 I salute you sister. I love your whole quotation*except for the middle finger thingie*. You're young but so...Oh no. I'm at lost with my words. You know what I mean. So guys, if this small, petite girl can think,write and do something like this, why not us? *I believe most of my blog readers are older than this girl* Maybe some of you think, "Alah...Setakat tulis dalam blog.Kalau dia tipu pun mana kau tau." Haha. Maybe you're right. But, I am inclined to believe this girl wrote what she really felt. I saw her once in a bus. She is like, really-really small *memang kalau korang tengok,you might even say she's a primary school student(sorry if you're reading this sister)*, but, I saw her love for herself. And I believe she has overcome the, "Why am I so small? Kawan aku semua tinggi-tinggi and besar-besar" feeling. I used to have the same feeling too. But because after reading this kind of quote, talked to someone who have superb way of making me feel better, I love myself more than ever. *Apalah yang aku merapu sekarang ni* What I'm trying to say is, love yourselves dudes and babes. I have so many friends who somehow believe in me and they told me what they feel about themselves. And the most common question is, "Kenapa aku dilahirkan kurang ______(apa-apa sifat...eg: tinggi)? Kenapa aku tak dilahirkan _______(yang bertentangan dengan kekurangan yang mereka rasa...eg: tinggi macam Robert Wadlow*tallest man in the world recorded by Guiness).

A picture of Robert Wadlow and his father

I know some of you used to think like that. But believe me, that's only what you think. And you should be grateful to God because there are so many tall people who wished they were smaller or shorter. I believe this would be the most common case for girls*hanya jangkaan*. Why? Because many people think someone who are short are cute*right?* For tall girls, they must be worried about how can they find a boyfriend. They are tall and they are making assumptions that no men will like women who are taller than them. Wrong! There are so many men who married a woman taller than them. For example. Bernie Ecclestone the CEO of Formula One Management.

Picture with her ex-wife Slavica

Macam dalam anime Angelic Layer*jangan bagitahu korang tak pernah tengok*, heroin-nya kecik,comel lotte bak kata orang Kelantan dan musuhnya dalam episod 19 bernama Chitose yang merupakan seorang yang tinggi lampai. Chitose said, "You will never understand how hard it feels for a girl to be tall like me. All the boys think that small girls are kawaii*cute/comel* And the heroin, Misaki was really shocked. "I always thought that being tall have its advantages. Only now I know that there people who hate being tall." In the end of that episode, Chitose got herself a boyfriend. LOL. *I sure watch a lot of anime-la* Anyway, my point is, be happy for who you are guys. You might think being fat is a disadvantage and believe me I've heard a girl said she wants a fat guy to be her husband. You might think being a nerd is a disadvantage but you must know there are quite a number of persons who wanted to be like you. So, stop hating yourselves, stop saying something bad about yourselves, and start appreciating yourselves. Like Malcolm Forbes said, "Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are." Don't be like in the song Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink. "Everyday I fight a war against the mirror, I can't take the person starin' back at me, I'm a hazard to myself. Don't let me get me, I'm my own worst enemy".

That's all for now. Till the next post and don't forget to visit again. Chow.


~Lonymous~