Brief Moments

 It was a grey morning,

Filled with the sound of rain,

Moving slowly across the roofs,

Nearer and nearer,

There I walk soaking wet,

As the cloud passed my head.

As I looked to the left,

My gaze lied heavy on a figure,

There I saw... him,

Under a tree,

Lying on the grass,

Ripples expanding across the lake nearby.

He was still dry, still relaxing

Still... oblivious

Of the rain that comes quietly.

The rain reached the moment,

Where it almost touched his hair, 

But in that brief moment,

Grey as it may be,

He was happy and dry,

Enjoying the morning sky.

And me myself?

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows,

No harm playing in the rain sometimes,

Whipped my hair and started moving,

Slowly as the cold wind blows by,

Quietly passing as phantoms barely seen.

Wet I was but still relaxing,

No longer oblivious of the rain,

Still moving, slow I may be but steady.

~Jaw~

Sahabat

SAHABAT

TAK TAK TAK, BUNYI derapan kasut terompah menghampiri Grell dari belakang.

"Grell! Grell!" jerit satu suara yang sangat dikenalinya.

Grell berpaling, "Apa dia?" di tangan tergenggam pedang kegemarannya, D3 Criss, berwarna biru kemerah-merahan dengan elemen kilat.

Boom! Mata Grell silau dek Amiya Punishment yang meletus di depannya seperti api yang keluar daripada enjin roket yang sedang berlepas. Membutakan.

"Budak ni, kot ya pun takde PVP takleh ke greet leklok," getus Grell dalam hati. TQ berdiri di depannya memegang panah update terbaru. Entah apa nama, berwarna merah terang benderang dengan efek api.

"Hee," TQ buat muka toya, senyum tak bersalah. "Awak busy tak ni? Kita nak minta tolong sikit."

"Dah la fire orang dengan Amiya, ada hati nak minta tolong," marah Grell.

"Ala, saja je tu. Boleh la. Penting ni. Please please please," pujuk TQ.

"Apa dia?"

"Tolong ajar kita Maths, SPM dah dekat ni."

Grell ketawa, "Deyy kakak. Kita tinggal SPM dah berapa lama. Maths dah karat la. Sikit-sikit ada ingat la. Math Mod ke Math Tam?"

"Boleh punya. Awak pandai," mata tergedik-gedik konon nak pujuk Grell, "Math Mod. Ada soalan yang kita tak faham."

"Hmm. Kita try la eh. Yang mana kita tahu kita tolong."

"Okay. Thank you Grell! Buka Skype cepat!" arah TQ.

"Aye aye captain."

Grell menutup window game dan terus log masuk ke Skype dan belum pun sempat berbuat apa-apa, satu panggilan video terus masuk. Grell senyum sendiri dan terus menjawab panggilan tersebut.

"Test test. Dengar tak? Grell?" tanya TQ.

"Ah, dengar dengar, jap nak buka kamera," jawab Grell dengan nada bersahaja lantas menekan butang Switch On Camera di skrin.

"Aaa!!!" satu jeritan kedengaran di sebelah sana.

"Apa? Apa?" tanya Grell cemas.

"Awak tak pakai baju..." jawab TQ sambil menutup mata dengan 10 jari.        

“Dia ingat kita tak nampak yang dia curi-curi tengok celah-celah jari tu," fikir Grell sendiri. "Sorry. Tak perasan. Jap," cekap Grell mencapai bajunya yang tergantung di kerusi. Bilik asramanya bersaiz kecil, memuatkan dua orang. Roomate-nya pula tak ada di bilik, masih sibuk di kelas barangkali.

TQ memarahinya, "Lain kali check la dulu. Apa la."

"Ya la. Sorry. Mana soalan?" Grell menjawab malas.

"Yang ni dulu," TQ menunjukkan soalan di hadapan kamera.

"Tak jelas la. Cer rapat sikit," beritahu Grell namun soalan tersebut masih tidak jelas di skrin.

"Kita snap gambar la. Jap." Beberapa saat kemudian TQ pun menghantar beberapa keping gambar. Kali ini barulah jelas kelihatan soalannya.

"Haa, ni okay. Bagi kita a few minutes. Nak tengok soalan," beritahu Grell.

"Baik bos!" balas TQ.

Tiba-tiba kedengaran bunyi piano dari dalam earphone-nya. TQ sedang memainkan lagu original hasil gubahannya sendiri.

"Piece baru lagi? Hebat la awak. I want your first, second, third and so on album. With autograph and for free please," Grell mengipas baik punya. TQ ketawa.

"Ha ah. Baru. Best tak?"

"Could use some more work tapi kita suka," balas Grell dengan senyuman, ikhlas memuji sahabatnya. Dia memang mengagumi TQ yang sangat mahir bermain muzik. Grell pernah bercita-cita menjadi pemuzik semasa kecil tapi setelah menghadiri beberapa kelas, dia menyerah kalah. Alasannya, dia tidak berbakat dan fikirnya lebih baik fokus kepada perkara lain. Apa perkara lain tu, sampai sekarang dia masih tidak tahu.

"Ni kita dah siapkan soalan ni. Check la jawapan dia betul ke tak."

TQ berhenti bermain piano dan terus memeriksa jawapan Grell.

"Yup. Betul. Cane awak buat?"

"Gini," Grell terus masuk mod mengajar. Bila masuk mod ni, dia terus straight to the point, tak cakap banyak. Akan diajarnya orang tersebut sampai faham, begitulah sikap Grell yang pernah bercita-cita menjadi seorang guru.

"Okay. Kita faham dah semua soalan-soalan ni. Nanti kalau ada soalan lain, kita call lagi ok?" tanya TQ.

"Tak jadi hal. Setakat mana kita tahu kita tolong la," balas Grell.

"Adik!!! Hang sembang ngan sapa lama sangat? Hang pi buat kerja sekolah nuh," marah satu suara.

"Alamak, mak kita! Dok buat la ni mak!! Ada kawan ajaq!!" jerit TQ. Cepat-cepat dia mematikan panggilan dan meninggalkan Grell sendirian. Grell ketawa terbahak-bahak.

"You're welcome," getusnya di dalam hati.

Begitulah hidup mereka hampir setiap hari selama beberapa bulan. Grell mengajar TQ Matematik dan kadang-kadang, diredahnya juga mengajar subjek lain walaupun sudah hampir 5 tahun meninggalkan sekolah. Sebagai balasan, TQ pula akan memainkan piano untuknya setiap hari buat menghilangkan keletihan dan kusut di kepala dengan pelajarannya sendiri.

***Setahun kemudian***

“Letih doh hari-hari kelas sampai petang macam ni. Seminggu straight bro. Huu, tak tahan,” beritahu Ad kepada Grell sambil membuka pintu bilik mereka. Grell melangkah masuk dan memasang kipas terlebih dahulu. Kerusi ditarik betul-betul di bawah kipas dan dia duduk sambil membuka kemejanya.

“Nak sangat kau buat Medic, haa tahan la. Nak-nak pula musim El-Nino, panas tak ingat,” Grell menyambung perbualan. Ad cuma ketawa kecil sebelum naik ke atas katil double-decker, standard katil di mana-mana asrama penuh tu.

“Baring jap, penat,” kata Ad malas. Penat sungguh kelas back to back  sepanjang hari, rehat cuma waktu makan tengah hari. Sempatlah solat dan makan sikit. Biasalah tu hidup di universiti, walaupun ada jadual kuliah, tapi masanya tetap berubah-ubah mengikut jadual kerja pensyarah sendiri. Akhirnya jadual yang lapang menjadi sesak juga.

Grell menghidupkan laptopnya di atas meja study lantas ke bilik air mengambil wuduk. Selesai sahaja menunaikan solat asar, dia membuka Facebook.

“Hari ni result SPM kan? Mesej TQ jap,” Grell berkata kepada dirinya sendiri. “Salam. TQ. Pekabo yong. Acano result? Hehe,” butang Send ditekan.

“Skype…” balas TQ.

“Lah, online rupanya. Macam tak kena je minah ni.” Tanpa bertanya banyak, Grell terus log masuk ke Skype dan seperti kebiasaannya, satu panggilan video masuk sebelum dia sempat melakukan apa-apa.

“Grell… Kita kena marah dengan family kita. Teruk,” beritahu TQ teresak-esak. Suaranya sayu. TQ membuka cermin mata dan mengesap air mata dari pipinya.

“Kenapa ni? Ni mesti menangis sepanjang hari ni. Teruknya muka,” Grell Cuma senyum tawar tak tahu bagaimana nak memulakan bicara. Soalan ditanya sekadar berbasa basi walaupun jawapannya sudah boleh di agak di dalam kepala.

“Mak marah sangat tadi… Kakak-kakak pun sama, kata kita bodoh, tak kesian kat mak…” kata TQ.

Grell mengangguk tanda faham namun dia terus mendiamkan diri. Dia tahu benar, masa-masa begini, menjadi pendengar lebih baik. TQ meneruskan bicara.

“Kita sedar kita tak pandai. Kakak-kakak kita lawyer, medical student…” beritahu TQ, “Kita? Arts je. Lukis-lukis je pandai. Mak kata takde masa depan. Grell… Kita tak tahan.”

“Eh. Tak adalah sampai macam tu. Bagi kita, Arts ni antara yang cerah masa depan dia kat Malaysia. Kan sekarang zaman kartun-kartun Malaysia naik. Tapi boleh kita tahu, kenapa mak dengan kakak-kakak cakap macam tu?” Grell bertanya lembut.

“Kita dapat 2A je. Maths dengan Seni. Takde fail, tapi banyak C.”

“TQ fahamkan sekarang kenapa diorang marah?”

“Tahu… Tapi dah nasib. Nak buat macam mana?”

Grell menyusun ayat dalam kepala supaya mesej yang hendak disampaikannya diterima dan tidak menyakitkan hati TQ.

“TQ, awak ingat tak, dalam seminggu dua sebelum SPM, kita tanya awak, kenapa main game lama sangat. Tak study ke? Ingat?”

“Ingat…”

“Lepas kita tanya tu, awak off sejam. Lepas tu tengok-tengok, awak online balik. Main pula 3-4 jam. Perasan?”

“Perasan…” muka TQ makin sugul. Pipi yang sudah mula mengering kembali basah dek air mata yang bercucuran.

“Sejam tu… Awak buat apa?”

“Kita…study…”

Grell tahu TQ menipu melalui gerak-geri badannya, matanya yang dipalingkan ke arah lain, jawapannya yang teragak-agak. Dia kenal benar kawannya. Memang ketagih dengan game online. Masanya dihabiskan berjam-jam setiap hari untuk game, sehinggakan kadang-kadang, 12 jam mudah-mudah saja terbuang di hujung minggu.

“Awak rasa, study sejam, main game 3-4 jam, balance ke?”

TQ cuma diam seribu bahasa. Grell menyambung lagi.

“Tak baik tau. Salahkan nasib macam tu. Kita kena tengok juga, usaha kita macam mana. Allah ni tak kejam. InsyaAllah, selalunya, dia akan bagi balasan yang setimpal dengan usaha kita.”

“Tahu… Grell. Tolong kita…” TQ mula menangis teresak-esak. Empangan air mata yang ditahannya bersungguh-sungguh akhirnya pecah juga. Grell senyum kerana tahu mesejnya sampai. Dia menukar topik, topik yang tadi biarlah bersambung di kemudian hari. Bila emosi TQ sudah stabil sedikit.

“Tak apa. Kita teman awak hari ni,” Grell membatalkan niatnya keluar bermain bola tampar petang ni. “Kita faham perasaan tu. Kita pun pernah fail teruk exam. Ayah kita pun kata kita antara yang paling bodoh dalam batch kita sebab fail. Teruk kita kena marah masa tu.”

“Ayah awak pun sama?”

“Yup. Tapi kita faham. Dia sebenarnya marah sayang. Kadang-kadang parents kita memang macam tu, diorang terlepas cakap sebab sedih sangat. Mak awak kita pasti dia pun macam tu. Yang penting, sekarang ni, awak kena kuat, jangan ambil hati sangat apa family kata. Bagi diorang masa. InsyaAllah, diorang akan cool down nanti.”

“Tapi macam mana nak kuat Grell… Kat meja makan, takde sape tengok muka kita. Semua diam je. Kita tak lalu makan, terus naik.”

“Kenapalah teruk sangat family support dia ni,” fikir Grell sendiri. “Hey! Mana boleh tak makan. Tapi untuk menjawab soalan tu, nak kuat senang je. Kita kan ada.” Grell ketawa.

“Eleh,” TQ senyum sumbing. “Awak ada boleh buat apa?”

“Kita boleh dengar masalah awak. Setidak-tidaknya, ada la juga orang nak bersembang kan?”

“Alah, itu kawan kita yang lain pun boleh buat. Apa bezanya. Ceh.”

“Haa, itulah awak tak tahu. Bezanya sekarang, awak cerita masalah awak kat kita. Bukan diorang.”

“Bweekk,” TQ menjelir lidah. “Kita boleh je nak cerita kat diorang. Tapi kalau cerita kat yang happy, kan ke rosak pula hari bahagia dia. Kalau nak cerita kat yang senasib dengan kita, kesian burden kat dia pula.”

Grell tersenyum melihat gelagat kawannya. Bersyukur melihat sahabatnya yang sudah kelihatan ceria sedikit. “Makanya, itulah beza dia kakak. Kita neutral. Awak nak cerita benda sedih ke, happy ke, kita okay je.”

“Okay. Nanti kita cerita banyak-banyak sampai awak penat. Padan muka. Nak sangat jadi kaunselor kita. Kita tak kira, satu minggu ni, awak kita punya!!!”

Ketawa mereka pecah.

“Grell. Terima kasih ya tolong kita. Setidak-tidaknya kita ada 2A. And, satu A tu sebab awaklah,” TQ memberitahu Grell jujur.

“Eh? Pula? Macam mana pula sebab kita?”

“Awak kan selalu ajar kita Maths. Banyak latihan yang kita buat masuk exam. Pastu kita ingat semua tips awak kasi. Senang faham, senang ingat, senang buat.”

“Oh, kita tolong sikit je. Kalau awak tak cari kita, tak jadi juga.”

“Still! Terima kasih. Boleh je awak decline. Awak kan student medik, busy. Nak main sukan lagi petang-petang. Tapi bila kita minta tolong, ada je masa awak.”

“Ya lah. Sama-sama. Kita tolong ikhlas. Awak macam adik kita, kita nak awak berjaya. Itu je.”

“Hmm. Grell…”

“Apa?” “Haa sudah. Budak ni nak confess kat aku ke? Alamak, naya aku ni. Salah step ke?” fikir Grell. Mukanya merah, kepalanya pening memikirkan bagaimana cara terbaik untuk menjawab luahan cinta si TQ nanti.

“Betullah kan, usaha tangga kejayaan. Yang kita usaha dengan awak, kita boleh je dapat A. Seni pun dapat A sebab kita memang selalu melukis, benda kita minat. Yang lain-lain tu, betul, kita lebih banyak main daripada belajar. Kita rasa ni la dia hikmah yang Allah nak bagi kat kita.”

Grell menutup mulutnya yang melopong. Dia cuba menyembunyikan mukanya yang semakin merah padam, malu kerana berfikir yang bukan-bukan. “Err. Aaa. Aah. Betul la tu. Betul sangat. Usaha tangga kejayaan.” Di sebalik rasa malu, timbul juga rasa gembira kerana topik yang dihajatkan untuk disambungnya ketika emosi TQ stabil sepertinya sudah tidak relevan lagi. TQ sudah menyedari kesilapannya dan itu sudah cukup buatnya.

“Kenapa muka awak merah? Eee. Lawaklah.”

“Ma-mana ada. Tak merah pun.”

Ketawa mereka pecah lagi. Kedua-duanya yang tadi kepenatan dengan kehidupan masing-masing kini terhibur. Grell bahagia melihat kawannya tersenyum, TQ pula gembira mengetahui dia mempunyai sahabat sebaik Grell. Sedikit pun mereka tidak menyangka, bermula dengan pertemuan di dalam satu game online, yang kemudiannya terbawa-bawa ke Facebook dan Skype boleh pergi sehingga tahap ini. Mereka tidak pernah bersua muka namun dalam diam-diam, kedua-duanya menyimpan harapan agar mereka dapat bertemu satu hari nanti. 


~Jaw~

Boonaa Mohammed in USMKK

Author's note: Suggested BGM, Michl - Kill Our Way to Heaven. Why? Listen to the lyrics and you'll know why.

     What's up guys? Hopefully you're all well and healthy. I know I am. n_n   I haven't blogged for so long but honestly, I've always been wanting to do this. I kept on thinking about this day it was like, I'm a heavy smoker and I was deprived from smoking. Imagine that. It was that bad. Haha. My hands were itching unbearably to write something in here and Thank God, I now have a reason and also the time to update it. So, what is it about this time around?

     How many of you actually know about Boonaa Mohammed? To be honest, last week was my first time hearing his name. He came to my campus a few days ago and a few days before that, I heard people talking about him. My friends kept talking about him, some random staffs from USM were talking about him, the announcement after almost every events were talking about him, it was like I went full blown crazy as if I could even hear cats purring about him. XD   Okay, that's exaggerating. Haha. But yeap, he became a subject everyone talked about. They were saying he's a famous poet and stuffs so I took the chance to go and hear him speak. Trust me, now I know why people were so excited. The talk was definitely a fulfilling one and so, I'd love to share some of the knowledge I gained with all you. n_n

     Actually, before the talk began, we watched a movie. A movie made by the speaker himself, Boonaa Mohammed. It was an hour long movie called Tug of War. Click here to watch the trailer if you're interested, but I don't know where you can actually watch the full movie though. So sorry about that. XD   Lucky me, I got to watch it for free. Haha. It's actually about a Muslim man, Khalil who just came out of prison, turned over a new leaf and was trying to build his life back. Sadly, everyone shunned him including his parents. He lost everything but one friend, Anas. However Anas is not all good news. Long story short, these two turned into extremist Muslims due to the personal problems and were ready to fly to a place (I honestly forgot where it was) to join Muslim extremist militaries. However, something happened that they got separated. In the end, Khalil, the ex-convict went there alone, and died on the battlefield while Anas, learned more about Islam and became an advocate of Islam. The end. You could really see the blessings of our own life hidden in the scenes of this movie.

     The movie was related to the topic of the speech, I guess, that was pretty much why he chose to let the audience watch it first. Probably. Or maybe, he was just being smart, saving his energy from speaking for too long. Hmmm. Slick. =w=   Oh well, when we were done watching the movie, only then Brother Boonaa gave his speech for about another hour plus, together with Q&A session. So let's see what are the meats and potatoes of his speech. n_n

   One, although there is no such thing as terrorists prototype, or a particular mould, there is one specific trait that these people have in common. Political grievance. They see what's happening to Muslims all over the world, many are killed everyday and this makes their blood boil. "That should be the case for all of us as well but that's not the issue. The issue is, what we view as the solutions to these problems," said Boonaa. We are fundamentally opposed to anyone who uses indiscriminate violence to harm others for their political goals, in the name of religion, in the name of Islam be it ISIS, Boko Haram etc or any other groups that may come in the future.

     Their rhetorics are usually based on emotions. They try to emotionally blackmail you saying stuffs like, "They slaughtered our brothers and sisters in Palestine and you are sitting here doing nothing but drinks coffee and enjoying your life? Are you not ashamed?" Heard of something like that? Or perhaps, have someone said that to you? n_n   These people use their emotions as their dalil, their evidence, as a permit for them to use violence against others. They would go against their Imams, the ulama' when their ideas are challenged. They start attacking people of knowledge saying, scholars for dollars, deviated and corrupted etc while in reality, they are the ignorant ones. 

     Secondly, Brother Boonaa says there is a huge lack of knowledge about Islam in this world by both the non-Muslims and the Muslims. These people would take the same ayat (sentence) in the Quran and use it out of context to support their own cause. Not just them, we, the current Muslims community are also doing the same. How many of us ask questions to Syeikh Google when we are in doubt about something? Uh uh, don't lie, we all did this. n_n   We take our religion from Youtube, Twitter, Facebook and funny thing is, we think our knowledge are of the same level as our scholars who have spent years learning this Deen (Islam). Funny, but true isn't it? n_n

     That is a big problem. Why? Because when we think we know about Islam while in truth, we are ignorant and have misunderstood it even,  we are easily persuaded into things that are incorrect. The Muslims nowadays are lacking in what Boonaa call critical thinking. We never authenticate what we saw or heard. If someone were to post a photo, "Did you know, if you say Allah Allah Allah and spin around, anti-clockwise for 40 times, you'll enter Jannah (heaven)?  Signed, Muslims Fact," some of us may believe in it blindly. That's how sad we've become.

     Nowadays, we take our religion in a very weird way. Some examples, we say MasyaAllah brother, look at how long his beard is, he must be right. Or, see his turban and his robes? He must be an ulama', if you don't trust him, you'll go to hell man. Or, look at her, she's wearing purdah, wife-material bro *pervy laughs*. That's not Islam. We cannot believe everything people tell us just based on how they look. We have to take it upon ourselves to understand why we believe what we believe. It's not good enough that our parents tell us, he tells us, she tells us. We should investigate and learn about the matters on our own. Be critical in our thinking and don't just believe in what somebody tells you because that is the key factor in misguidance.

     Next thing is, the lacking of safe spaces. What does this mean? Brother Boonaa says, in Canada, many people are curious about Jihad however the Muslims over there are scared to even say that word. Some would not even speak about it with their kids. They are paranoid, scared that someone is listening to them and what is the effect of this? The curious people, their curious childrens now only have one options to learn about Jihad, that is through the internet. Boom. No wonder there are so many misunderstandings about the word Jihad. Therefore, to create safe spaces where people can talk freely without being scared is of utmost importance. But in Malaysia, honestly that's not much of a problem I think. Thank God. n_n

     Finally, the conclusion. Fuuuh. That was long. Let's finish this last bit. Have you ever asked yourself, "Do I care about Muslims all over the world? If I do, what have I done for their cause?" If you can answer it, Alhamdulillah. But if you can't, like me, Brother Boonaa's story may change that. A few weeks before the election in Canada last year, he made a Youtube video and openly criticised the ex-Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. The video went viral and the atmosphere was a mixture of emotions. Some Muslims were scared, some were very accepting. Then again, many people thanked him for saying all the things they were too afraid to say. Thing is, everyone keep waiting for someone to make a change but they never try to be the one who lead the change. So, what have we done to help our Ummah? The answer should never be nothing because everyone can put something to the table. And if you're questioning as to why should you help them, thinking you're also suffering in many other ways they don't, try counting the blessings you've gained in your life. n_n

     This has been a pleasure. As I thought, I love blogging so much and I hope I'll be able to share things here for many years more. n_n   Hopefully, the post has been worth the long read. I'm sorry if it gets draggy sometimes but as long as you reach this point feeling satisfied, I am more than happy. One last thing, I'll be facing my Professional Examination 2 this mid-May. What that means is, I have to pass it in order to get into my fourth year of my degree. Please, do pray for me and my friends and may one day, we will become doctors who are trustworthy and responsible enough to serve the communities. Ameen. Thank you for the kind prayers everyone. n_n

Here's a video of the whole speech. Thanks to FESKI for bringing such a fantastic speaker.

~Jaw~